


Weltschmerz

by Marvellous_Salmon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Minor Character Death, attack on titan but a little bit less death, only a little
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:42:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29559966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvellous_Salmon/pseuds/Marvellous_Salmon
Summary: (alternate title: Fernweh)Zeke Jäger doesn't remember much from his childhood. Growing up inside the walls, he was raised by his father, Grisha Jäger, and his step-mother, Carla Jäger, he leads a peaceful life as a garrison member. When the titans invade Shiganshina, his whole life is flipped upside down, though one goal remains: protecting Eren and Mikasa.(obviously an AU; i kno where im going but also i dont :), canon divergence, p much follows the manga tho. also potential spoiler warnings for season 1-3 and also Zeke's backstory.)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. destruction

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for clicking, firstly! Since English isn't my first language, pls tell me if any sentences sound floppy or I'm using a word incorrectly so I can correct it and learn. enjoy :)

The sun was warm on Zeke's neck. He explored his hometown Shiganshina, the district where he currently had to fulfill his duty as a garrison soldier. His uniform, which included a brown jacket with the garrison's rose emblem and leather straps all over his body, was way too warm for the hot summer weather. At least he hadn't attached the ODM gear. The extra weight would have been an unnecessary annoyance.  
A gust of wind whirled up the dust on the streets and brushed through his light blond hair. Boredly, he brought up a hand to push his dirty glasses up the bridge of his nose.  
Zeke took a turn and climbed a short flight of stairs to a pretty house. Pretty flower pots with blue forget-me-nots decorated the windowsills.  
Without knocking, he entered the building.  
"I'm home," he called, closing the door behind him. Approaching the wooden dining table in the middle of the room, Zeke sat down across from his father - Grisha Jäger.  
The man with the longish brown hair didn't look up from his book.  
"Zeke," he greeted lamely. "How's work?"  
Carla came up behind Zeke, putting a loving hand on his shoulder. "Leave the boy some rest, Grisha," she chuckled lightheartedly. "He just got home."  
"Hey, ma," responded Zeke, briefly brushing his fingers over hers before resting his hand on the table. "Don't worry about it. The garrison isn't all too busy here at the moment."  
"You shouldn't have to plague yourself with work during your free time, though," she said. "Home is a place to relax."  
"Well, technically, this isn't my free time."  
Carla rolled her eyes. Softly, she brought up a hand to his face, caressing his cheek for a few seconds. "You should shave, son," she noted, feeling the stubble on his chin.  
Zeke nodded, a small smile on his lips. "I'll shave tomorrow morning."  
Carla left Zeke's side to continue her previous task of washing the dishes in the sink.  
After stretching his back a bit, Zeke took off his garrison jacket, leaving him in his white button-down shirt. The straps and belts of his gear were tight and uncomfortable on his body, but he didn't have enough time on his hands to take it off and on again.  
"Where are Mika and Eren, by the way?" he asked curiously, noting the kids' absence.  
"Oh, these two rascals?" said Carla. "They're collecting wood outside." She turned her head to take a look out of the window. "It's been a while since they left..."  
"They'll be back soon," assured Grisha calmly, looking up from his book.  
Just a few seconds later, the door opened noisily, and in came the two ten-year-olds. They had wood strapped to their backs.  
"We're back!" announced Eren cheerily, leading the way inside. Mikasa joined him after closing the door. Zeke wondered if Mikasa wasn't too hot with that scarf of hers.  
Carla put down the plate she'd been drying and turned to look at the two children. Once again, Zeke noticed how much Eren resembled his mother. He looked just like her, but his eyes were green like his father's.  
"Welcome back," said Grisha, putting his book on the table and turning to face the kids.  
"Zeke, hello!" said Eren happily at the sight of his older brother. Mikasa waved from her spot next to the brown-haired boy. Despite being ten years older, Zeke was quite close to his two siblings.  
Mikasa and Eren put away the wood they had gathered and sat down at the table.  
Carla's eyebrows scrunched slightly, her pretty amber eyes reflecting the light. "You two are late," she noted.  
"Well, yeah," replied Eren hesitantly, beads of sweat running down the side of his face. "Some stuff happened... but now we're back home."  
Silently, Carla accepted his answer and went on to wipe the table.  
Grisha gathered his utensils and putting them into his small bag. At last, he added his book and stood up from his seat. He cleaned his glasses before standing up and approaching the door.  
"Huh, you're leaving already?" asked Eren. "Where are you going?"  
Zeke chuckled slightly. "The old man probably has some doctor business to attend to," he said.  
Grisha nodded, choosing to ignore the 'old man' part. "I have to see some patients two towns up, so I have to leave now."  
"Wait," said Mikasa, making her family look at her curiously. "He told me that he wanted to join the Survey Corps." She brushed her long black hair behind her ear, her light blue gaze not leaving the table.  
Zeke's head snapped to look at Eren, whose face was flushed red.  
"Mikasa!" yelled the boy angrily. "I told you not to say anything!"  
Carla grabbed her son by the shoulders, eyes widened. "What are you thinking!" she said forcefully. "Do you realize how many people have been killed by the titans! You can't even count that far!"  
"Yes, I know!" said Eren harshly, his eyes squinted.  
Zeke resisted the urge to stand up and chose to stay in his seat. He took a deep breath, staring at Eren. "Listen, our mother is right," he said. "Venturing beyond the walls is foolish. Why should you go outside if you can lead a long and happy life inside the walls?" Zeke took another deep breath when he heard himself getting louder. "Joining the Surveys is suicide, Eren. Do you want to die?"  
Dumbfounded by his brother's disapproval, Eren glared back at him. A wave of relief crashed through the blond when he noticed Eren's discouraged expression.  
"Tell me, child," said Grisha, a calm albeit curious expression on his face. "Why do you wish to venture outside the walls?"  
Eren's bright eyes sparkled at his father. "I hate the thought of spending my whole life caged up inside the walls like an animal."  
Carla and Zeke exchanged a worried look before observing Grisha and Eren again. Mikasa watched curiously.  
"I want to learn about the outside world," continued Eren. "Also, if no one leaves the walls anymore, all of these brave soldiers will have died for nothing, right?"  
Zeke sat back in his chair, taken aback by his brother's thought process. He didn't expect a ten-year-old to think like that.  
Eren and Grisha stared at each other for quite a few seconds. Zeke was tense - he wanted to know why his father was behaving this way.  
"I see," responded Grisha lamely. He turned his back on the others and approached the door again. "Well, I'd better get going. The boat will leave soon."  
"Wait," said Carla angrily, grabbing Grisha by the sleeve. The man glanced over his shoulder at his wife. "Honey, talk some sense into your son!"  
"There's no point in trying to convince him otherwise," said Grisha, making Carla gasp. "No matter what we say, there's no taming a mind like his." His eyes wandered to look at his younger son, pulling a key on a string out of his shirt. "Eren, when I get home, I'll show you the basement when I come back home."  
Zeke scrunched his eyebrows, wrinkles forming on his forehead in the process. What was so special about the basement? Zeke had never been down there, but he hadn't thought anything of it. Was their father hiding a secret down there that no one except for Eren was allowed to see?  
"Really?" said the boy excitedly, his eyes growing wide.  
Grisha nodded.  
Carla, Mikasa, Eren, and Zeke accompanied Grisha to the front porch and waved goodbye as he left for his ship.  
"Eren," said Carla quietly when her husband was out of sight. "I won't allow you to do anything as foolish as joining the Survey Corps."  
"You and Zeke!" he yelled, face contorting in anger. "You two call it foolish, but you know who the real fools are? It's the people who are happy living like this! Those people are foolish!" Eren regarded his mother and brother with scrunched eyebrows and squinted eyes.  
"Calm down, Eren," said Zeke. "We only want-"  
Eren didn't let his brother finish. Instead, he let out an angry yell and ran off.  
Sighing heavily, Zeke rubbed his temples. He loved his brother - incredibly much so - but he tended to be too hot-headed for his own good. It was impossible to control that child at all.  
Carla knelt in front of Mikasa, gently cradling the girl's face.  
"Mikasa," she said, "please watch out for Eren, okay?"  
The black-haired girl nodded, determined to keep her promise, and ran off to find Eren.  
Zeke and Carla watched the girl hastily turn around the corner. The young blond man sighed, leaning on the porch's railing with his forearms, observing the city's streets. Some citizens were walking around, just like he did earlier. Zeke also spotted a bunch of cats roaming around.  
"You know," said Zeke softly, breaking the silence, "you shouldn't put too much pressure on Mika." He stood up straight again, choosing to lean against the house's walls. "It shouldn't be her duty to watch Eren - it's mine to protect them both. I'm their big brother, after all."  
Carla sighed, fidgeting her hands in front of her stomach.  
"I know," she said, facing the ground. "It's just... Mikasa can always be by Eren's side. These two can look out for each other. You and I, on the other hand, have jobs elsewhere. We can't always tail them. And one day, we'll have to leave them behind in this world." She paused for a second, her eyes focused on the sky. "It's frustrating, but it's reality. Knowing that these two have each other is comforting, in a way."  
Slowly, Zeke nodded. He shared his mother's sentiment - he couldn't always watch out for his siblings. But at least they would have each other.  
Zeke put his head in his neck, watching the clouds fly carelessly above them. His eyes followed the birds, and for a few brief seconds, he wondered how it felt to fly.  
He pushed himself off the wall, stretching his tired limbs a bit.  
"I have to get back to work," he mumbled tiredly, wishing he could bask in the sunlight for some more time. After giving Carla a short hug, he climbed down the stairs leading away from their house.  
Zeke couldn't help but notice that it didn't feel as hot as it did earlier - now, the fresh breeze provided at least some cooldown. The stream of the river he passed was a calming sound in his ears. Some people chattered about nothing in particular. The sun reflected on the water, making it shimmer.  
When Zeke wanted to put his hands into the pockets of his jacket, his hands grasped thin nothing.  
"Piss," he mumbled, "I forgot my uniform at home."  
Before Zeke could turn around, he spotted Eren, Mikasa, and their friend Armin sitting by the river. Promptly, Zeke decided to check on them.  
"There's no guarantee that they won't get in today, for example," said Armin, ending what seemed to have been a rant about something. Zeke thought his bowl cut looked particularly amusing today.  
"You three alright?" he asked, making the children turn to face him. They hadn't heard him approach.  
Eren pouted, still seeming to be a little upset about their discussion earlier. Mikasa, on the other hand, smiled softly and waved.  
"Hello, Mr. Zeke," said Armin shily. "Are you on duty?"  
"No need for the formalities," said Zeke, scratching his ear. "I'm-"  
The sound of an explosion interrupted Zeke. The ground rumbled intensely, swaying underneath the man's feet. He struggled to stay upright.  
Armin, Eren, and Mikasa looked at each other, eyes wide ánd mouths gaping.  
"What was that?" shouted Armin with a high pitch in his voice.  
Eren got to his feet and grabbed Mikasa and Armin by their arms. "Come on! Something is happening over there!"  
Before Zeke could even fully comprehend what had happened, the kids were already running off.  
Zeke cursed under his breath, swiftly following them. "Wait, stay here," he shouted to deaf ears. "It's too dangerous!"  
He came to a halt where they'd stopped in the middle of the main street. The people looked up at the wall, paralyzed from the shock. Following their gazes, Zeke discovered a dark cloud of smoke emerging behind the wall. A gigantic hand appeared, gripping its top.  
The blood drained from Zeke's face when a titan's face appeared. It didn't have any skin, revealing the titan's muscles. Its eyes were gloomy.  
Zeke couldn't understand any words around him. He was numb to the fleeing citizens brushing his shoulders. All he noticed was the titan's face.  
When he'd been on duty on the top of the wall, Zeke had seen titan's from afar. They were scarily tall - but not this much. This monster must have been about 60 meters tall to be able to look over the walls.  
Zeke's feet were rooted to the floor, unable to move. He knew he had to react, though - he was a garrison soldier, and it was his jobs to guard the walls. Titans should not be peeking above it like this. How come no one saw it approaching?  
At this moment, Zeke was only able to stare at the titan. His light brown eyes widened with fear.  
Something grabbed his arms. The feeling snapped Zeke back to reality, making him startle. When he looked down, he saw Eren and Mikasa holding onto his sleeves for dear life.  
Zeke knelt, wrapping Eren, Mikasa, and Armin up in his arms protectively. His brain rattled. Was the titan about to do something? Climb over the wall? They should flee. Where to? Where would they be safe?  
Frustration seeped through Zeke's body, washing over him in waves. If he had his ODM gear on, at least, he would be able to protect the kids. Fate had it that today was the day he wasn't carrying his weapons on him.  
A loud crash made Zeke return his attention to the titan. Boulders were flying everywhere, crushing houses and civilians alike.  
Instinctively, he put his arms around the three children, even though he knew that they would all die immediately if that rubble hit them.  
It seemed that the titan had broken down the wall. Shiganshina no longer had any protection against the man-eating beasts lurking outside. Since when did titans have the power to accomplish such feats?  
"It... made a hole in the wall?" whispered Mikasa, voice shaky. Zeke hugged her tighter.  
Finally, he came back to his senses. "Come on," he urged, oddly composed. "We have to leave. Hurry!"  
Humans whizzed past them, screaming fearfully.  
Armin, Mikasa, and Zeke were about to flee the scene, but they stopped in their tracks when Eren ran right past them into the danger.  
"Eren!" yelled Mikasa and Armin in unison, the shock evident in their voices.  
Zeke looked harshly at Eren. There was no time to mess around. "Eren!" he screamed. "Come back this instant, don't do anything stupid!"  
"Mom is still at home!" he replied just as harshly. "We have to help her!"  
Mikasa's eyes widened. She didn't think twice about following Eren to their home. Armin reached out to grab her, but she was gone too soon. He gripped his hand, shaking violently.  
Zeke took a brief look at the boy. "Armin, leave. I'll go get them."  
After Armin fled hesitantly, Zeke rushed after his siblings. His long legs carried him through the streets, the stench of fire and blood in his nose.  
Zeke's body was running on auto-pilot, the only thing on his mind being his family. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to them. If he'd just brought his gear along when he headed home earlier, he would have been able to protect them from the titans now.  
Zeke found his house crushed by a boulder. He could see Carla's upper body, Mikasa and Eren kneeling by her side. They were trying to lift the rubble off Carla's body, but they were too weak to move it.  
"Zeke!" yelled the woman when she spotted her eldest son approaching. "You have to get away from here. It's too dangerous." She was trying her best to appear calm, but her amber eyes were wet with tears. "You three have to live."  
"We're not leaving you behind," cried Eren, wiping the tears from his face. "We'll get this thing off and make a run for it. Zeke, please help us!"  
The ground rumbled with every step a nearby titan took. They looked even more terrifying up close - like people slightly to the left, their eyes void of humanity.  
Zeke grabbed onto the rubble and started heaving it with all his might, groaning loudly. It only moved a bit before they had to drop it again.  
"Please, please run away," Carla begged, sobs choking her body.  
Tears prickled at Zeke's eyes, threatening to escape. Their attempts were for naught, he realized. At this rate, they'd all get killed. He should have grabbed Eren and Mikasa and made a run for it when he still had the time - now it was probably too late. But he couldn't simply let his mother die.  
"My legs, they got crushed," Carla then choked out. "I can't walk." Tears were streaming down her face now.  
Eren growled. "We'll carry you, then!"  
"Why won't you ever listen to me!" The woman couldn't hold back her wails anymore. Her violent crying hurt Zeke's heart. "Do as I say one last time, please, I'm begging you..." Her voice was growing weaker. After taking a few ragged breaths, she called out: "Zeke, Mikasa! Please!"  
Shutting her eyes tightly, Mikasa screamed: "No! You can't die!" She once again attempted to lift the rubble. It didn't budge.  
The sound of heavy footsteps approaching them made Zeke look up. A titan neared them, its ugly smile reaching from one ear to the other, stretching its hideous face and revealing the red flesh inside its mouth. The blonde hair framing its face was dirty and bloody. The titan's light brown eyes sparkled eerily, staring unblinkingly at Zeke. Something about the monster felt oddly familiar.  
The reality of the situation hit Zeke like a slap to the face. They had to leave. Now.  
Hands shaking, Zeke cradled Carla's face and pressed a brief kiss to her hairline. He leaned his forehead against hers and whispered: "Thank you."  
Then, Zeke let Carla go.  
Hastily grabbing onto Mikasa and Eren's sleeves, he yanked them away from their mother.  
Eren yelled in protest. "We can't leave her... no!"  
Before Zeke could continue his mission of saving Eren and Mikasa, light footsteps approaching from behind distracted him. Whipping his head around, he discovered Hannes running at the titan, unsheathing his blades.  
"I'll slay this titan and save all of you!" he yelled. "It's time to repay my debt to Dr. Jäger!"  
The man came to a sudden halt, freezing in his movement. His face paled when he looked at the titan's creepily cheerful expression.  
Hannes turned on his heel, rushed back to them, and roughly picked up Eren. "Hurry up, Zeke!"  
Zeke hastily wrapped his arms around Mikasa's belly before standing up, and then the two men made a run for it. The tears escaping Zeke's eyes were hot and hindered his sight. He had to suppress a sob when he heard Eren's complaints, the rubble moving, and Carla calling out to them one last time.  
"Eren! Zeke! Mikasa! You have to- you have to survive! Live!"  
Zeke was glad he wasn't facing his mother's direction. However, he couldn't hinder Mikasa and Eren from having to witness Carla getting eaten.  
Hannes and Zeke carried the children quite a few blocks till Eren came back to his senses. The boy started hitting Hannes's head to get him to let go of him.  
"I could have saved her," he cried, tearing Zeke's heart apart, "if you just hadn't shown up!"  
The air left Eren's lungs when Hannes threw him on the ground.  
"You couldn't save her because you weren't strong enough," said Hannes quietly, kneeling in the dirt with tears pooling in his eyes.  
Eren's face contorted in anger, his cheeks still wet from crying. He took a left swing, attempting to punch Hannes.  
Hannes caught Eren's arms, the tears escaping his eyes at that moment.  
"And I didn't face the titan because I wasn't brave enough..."  
Zeke put Mikasa back on the ground, dry tears staining his face, eyes hurting. He wanted to weep so desperately. He couldn't.  
He took Eren's and Mikasa's hands into his own and followed Hannes. A crowd appeared, trying to get on a refugee ship. Hannes stayed in his spot while Zeke wrestled his way through the people. He had to get Mikasa and Eren onto that ship.  
At the entrance stood a soldier, keeping the citizens from getting on. "It's full," he argued, "no more."  
When he spotted Zeke in the crowd, he lifted his eyebrows. "Jäger!" he shouted. "I thought you were a goner, to be frank. Mount the boat with your siblings, then we'll leave. The others have to wait for the next ship."  
Zeke nodded gratefully, pushing Eren and Mikasa onto the ship in front of them. He didn't care about the unfair treatment, as long as Eren and Mikasa would be okay.  
"We'll depart now," announced the soldier.  
Paying no mind, Zeke brought the two children to the middle of the deck. They sat down, huddled together.  
Their eyes were empty. Zeke was numb, barely taking in the talk around them or the various bodies pressing to his own.  
Soldiers shouted at each other, panicked, no one truly knowing how to act.  
“What are you saying?! There are still so many people!”  
“I said what I said! We can’t allow the titans to get any farther than this!”  
“Hurry! Close the gate!”  
“A titan is charging!”  
“Why are our weapons not working?”  
A loud crash. Zeke's head snapped up. A titan had broken down the next wall, a thick armor wrapping around its body.  
Eren's voice shook as he talked. "We'll never go home again," he said quietly, tears streaming down his face.  
"Why is this happening? Why... can I only cry? Why?"  
Eren stood up, glaring at the horizon with scrunched eyebrows.  
"I'm going to destroy them. Every single one of these devils!"


	2. farewell, jäger

Zeke couldn't clearly remember the days following the fall of Wall Maria. When he'd shown up at the garrison that day, his eyes had been dead, his face empty. His superiors had been nice enough to grant him a few free days - so that Zeke could take care of his siblings, they'd said. They probably just thought that he would be useless in his current state. Zeke didn't care what they thought, though. Honestly, he was just relieved that he could be there for Mikasa and Eren. They needed the comfort just as much as he did.  
Days passed in the refugee camp. The only things Zeke could consciously remember were his siblings' numb expressions and reuniting with Armin. A little bit of light had returned to their eyes upon seeing that their friend and his grandpa were safe.  
Zeke spent the nights keeping his siblings warm and comforted with his arms. The recent events had been traumatizing and hard to swallow. Being with Mikasa and Eren was soothing, though.   
Losing their mother was difficult for all of them, but Zeke shuddered thinking about how Mikasa felt after seeing her second family getting ripped apart like this.  
They didn't even know whether Grisha was alive. Eren still clung to hope, claiming that their father would find them soon. Zeke, on the other hand, was less optimistic about that. He didn't expect to see the man again.  
On the seventh night, Zeke awoke to the moon illuminating the camp. Eren was gone, leaving only Mikasa sleeping soundly in his arms. Slowly, Zeke lifted his upper body into a sitting position. Mikasa stirred a little, turned, and continued dreaming.   
The sound of breathing and snoring filled the cool air. Zeke probably wasn't the only person awake, but at least the others were pretending to sleep.  
Zeke knew that Eren was most likely relieving himself around the corner, but he couldn't help worrying about his safety. After the chaos the titans had incited, Zeke's stomach clenched every time he had to let Mikasa and Eren out of his sight.   
Lying back down, Zeke decided to wait for his brother to return. Eren should be back soon, after all. And then Zeke could go back to sleep with peace of mind. If Eren didn't return in a few minutes, he would at least know that something was wrong.  
Sighing, Zeke waited patiently. He listened to the other refugees sleeping soundly, the crickets singing outside, the owls hooting curiously. Zeke observed the clouded sky, the stars shining brightly, the moon watching them from high up while waiting for Eren's return. He kept on waiting, and waiting, and waiting. 

Zeke awoke with a start, his upper body shooting up with beads of sweat running down his face. He'd had a dream, but he couldn't remember what had happened. Cursing under his breath, Zeke rubbed his temples - he hadn't meant to fall back asleep, and Eren was still gone. At least Mikasa had not woken up because of him.  
His body froze when he heard heavy footsteps approaching.   
Slowly, Zeke turned his head to the side.   
A tall man was staring at him, not moving an inch. He was carrying something - or rather someone - in his arms. The darkness hid his face, but Zeke could still make out the wide-eyed expression the man wore on his face.  
"Grisha?" said the man quietly, with an odd urgency in his voice.   
Zeke blinked a few times and watched the stranger carefully.  
"Uh, no," said Zeke slowly. "I'm not my father."  
It was silent for a few seconds. Zeke adjusted the glasses on his nose and scratched his ear. "Who do you have there?" he then asked.  
"A child," answered the man awkwardly.   
Zeke raised his eyebrows. "Does that child happen to be my brother, Eren Jäger?"  
The man nodded, carefully putting Eren on the ground next to Mikasa. Then, he knelt next to Zeke, taking in the sight of the young blond man. He seemed a bit pale, with dark circles under his light brown eyes.   
"You look a lot like your father," said the stranger, not taking his eyes off Zeke. There was an odd glint in his eyes that Zeke couldn't name.  
"So I've heard," said Zeke, watching the man cautiously. "Who are you, and where did you find Eren? How do you know my parents?"  
"One question at a time," said the man. "I'm Keith Shadis. You must be Zeke, right?"  
Zeke nodded. The name rang a bell - he's heard it at work before. Keith Shadis was the 12th commander of the Survey Corps. He resigned not long ago, assigning the command to some man called Erwin Smith.  
"I found Eren lying in the forest. He was unconscious, so I brought him back to camp," explained Shadis.   
"In the forest?" said Zeke, raising his eyebrows. Turning his head to look at Eren, he discovered a necklace hidden in his shirt that hadn't been there before. Zeke gently pulled it out, revealing a key on a string. He recognized it. It was the very same key Grisha had shown them a week ago. The key to the basement.  
Shadis nodded. "No one else was around. I have no idea what he was doing there."  
"I suppose Carla and Grisha are dead?" said Shadis.  
Zeke kept his gaze on Eren, brushing a hand through his dirty hair.   
"Our mother got eaten by a titan," said Zeke. "Grisha disappeared. I suspect he is dead, too."  
Shadis didn't respond, silence reigning the air for a few seconds.   
"How do you know our parents?" Zeke then said, repeating his earlier question. He regarded Shadis curiously.  
"I was a friend," answered Shadis hesitantly. Zeke squinted his eyes softly, recalling a faint memory of his parents talking to a member of the Survey Corps.  
Shadis's eyes were trained on the ground, wrinkles forming on his forehead. Zeke wondered what was on his mind.  
"You were still really young back then. I introduced your father to Carla to each other, and they fell in love. We fell out of touch as the years went by."  
Something about Shadis's body language was off, but Zeke couldn't tell why that was.  
Before Zeke could ask any more questions, Shadis stood up and dusted off his trousers.  
"I have to take my leave now," he said. "Farewell, Jäger."  
Without allowing Zeke to answer, Shadis left the refugee camp.

Five years have passed since Wall Maria fell, and life had regained normalcy in the meantime. Work kept Zeke on the tip of his toes - Rico wasn't one to go easy on her squad. Back then, he'd started to put more effort into his work, realizing the importance of it. As a result, he'd been stationed in Trost and assigned to the woman's squad. She wasn't half as bad once he got to know her.   
Much to Zeke's dismay, Eren and Mikasa had enrolled in the Training Corps along with Armin. Zeke had tried to talk them out of it, but in the end, he had been unable to stop them. Now, they were 15 years old and had grown quite a bit.  
Since Zeke had a free day today, he'd decided to visit his siblings. It had been nearly six weeks now since he last saw them. Their occupations kept them apart. Zeke wished that he could spend more time with Eren and Mikasa.  
Chewing on a piece of bread he had snatched from the kitchen, Zeke approached the training grounds of the 104th training squad. The cadets were busy practicing their hand-to-hand combat under the watchful eye of Keith Shadis.  
Over the years, Zeke had run into the man a few times. They haven't exchanged a single word since that strange encounter five years ago, though.   
Zeke stood with significant distance to Shadis, the both of them observing the sparring cadets from their spots. He couldn't see Eren as of now but quickly spotted Mikasa practicing with a brown-haired girl. Mikasa kept on throwing her to the ground, voicing a helpful tip afterward each time. The girl, who Zeke believed was called Sasha, didn't tire in the least. Sasha kept on jumping back to her feet, lunging at Mikasa again.  
The girl's head snapped around, suddenly staring at Zeke. Her eyes seemed to glow in the sun. Before Mikasa could grab ahold of her, Sasha came right at Zeke, crashing into the tall man and reaching for his bread.  
Zeke stumbled a bit, using his free hand to push Sasha's face away from him. "Excuse me?" he said, dumbfounded.  
Mikasa jogged up to them, grabbed Sasha by the ponytail, and yanked her away. "Sasha," she scolded. "You can't just jump at people like this!"  
Sasha pouted, crossing her arms in front of her chest.   
Mikasa turned to face Zeke. "It's good to see you," she said. "What leads you here?"  
"Hello, Mika," he said, biting a chunk out of his bread while staring into Sasha's eyes. "I came to see you and Eren, obviously." He chewed with an open mouth, observing Sasha's reaction.  
Mikasa stretched her lips unpleasantly. "You're gross," she said. "Can't you swallow?"  
Zeke swallowed and shook his head. "No."   
He looked at his bread and tossed it at Sasha. She caught it clumsily and started happily munching away.  
"How's training?" he asked. "Everything fine?"  
"It's okay," said Mikasa, nodding. "We get by. I think we'll do fine in the ranking."  
"Oh yeah, the ranking," said Zeke. "You don't have much time left here."  
"As far as I know," said Sasha, mouth still full with bread, "the placing has already been decided. We'll officially graduate in a week or so."  
"Who said you could take a break!" yelled Shadis, looking sharply at Sasha and Mikasa. "You can chat in your free time, idiots!"  
Mikasa shrugged lightly. She waved before grabbing Sasha by her sleeve and returning to their training spot. The two girls continued sparring as before.  
"Zeke, look here!"  
The blond man turned his head and found Eren excitedly waving at him from not too far away. When he caught Zeke's eyes, he grinned.  
"I'm gonna beat Reiner's-"  
Reiner, a buff blond guy, had used the distraction to slam into Eren. They both fell to the ground, Reiner on top holding a wooden knife to Eren's throat. Zeke winced a bit while he watched the air leaving Eren's lungs upon impact.  
"Who's gonna beat whose ass?" laughed Reiner. After basking in his victory for a few seconds, Reiner got off Eren and helped him stand up.  
Zeke crossed his arms in front of his muscular chest, continuing to watch his younger brother. This time around, Eren seemed more focused on the task at hand. His eyes were trained on Reiner, his hands defensively in front of him, waiting for Reiner's next strike.  
For a few seconds, Reiner stared hard at Eren, flipping the knife in his right hand. A grin stretched his lips. He took a deep breath before lunging at Eren again.   
Eren lifted his hands as if he was about to grab a bull by its horns. He didn't budge, waiting for the right moment. Just as Reiner was about to ram into Eren again, Eren side-stepped. Reiner was on the ground faster than Zeke could look.   
Eren looked over to Zeke. When he saw his thumbs-up, he grinned and returned his attention to Reiner. The two boys started whispering amongst each other, repeatedly glancing over to a short girl with blonde hair, a hooked nose, and icy blue eyes. She seemed to leave the training area. Zeke didn't know the girl's name. He didn't think anyone has mentioned it in front of him before.   
Noticing Reiner and Eren's gossiping, the girl approached them with a glare on her face. They exchanged a few sentences that Zeke couldn't understand from his position. Then, she got into a fighting stance unfamiliar to Zeke, her fists raised in front of her face.   
Reiner quickly handed Eren the wooden knife. They discussed for a few seconds before Reiner pushed Eren towards Annie. Eren gave in, finally attacking the short girl. He stood no chance, though. The girl flipped Eren onto the ground painfully. Reiner, too, landed in the sand when he attempted to fight her. 

The harsh summer sun approached the horizon, painting the sky in all kinds of pretty colors. The clouds passing by were tinted red by the light. Some birds flew by, heading home before the darkness took over. The sky looked like a piece of art.   
Shadis had called it a day about half an hour ago, seeing as barely any of the cadets were focused. They'd all been slouching off, exhausted from their long day.   
Zeke had observed training for about an hour or so till they were allowed to end their day. Now, he was sitting at a dining table with Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and Sasha. The chattering in the dining hall was rather loud while they ate, accompanied by the clanking sound of cutlery smashing against their plates.   
Armin was talking about something to Eren. Zeke hadn't bothered to listen, though. Sasha and Mikasa were busy telling Zeke stories about the different people they'd grown to know so well over the years - Reiner, the brother-figure everyone looked up to, and his awkward best friend. A guy called Jean, who always fought with Eren. His righteous friend Marco, who got along with everyone. Sasha's best friend Connie. The two girls that were incredibly close, a nice blonde girl and the other dark-haired and rude. Zeke wasn't familiar with most of the trainees, so he couldn't connect a face to many of the names. Still, he enjoyed listening to Mikasa speak so freely and interact with a carefree friend of hers.   
"Hey, Jean," said Eren loudly, making Zeke, Mikasa, and Sasha look at him. Eren glared unblinkingly, his eyebrows knitted together. "Don't you think it's crazy?"  
Jean, who sat at the next table over, turned his head to look at Eren. His hair was a light brown shade and stood up in every direction.   
"What is it?" said Jean, raising his thin eyebrows.   
Eren tilted his head, still glaring. "Isn't it odd that we train to kill titans so we can live as far away from them as possible?"  
Zeke heard Mikasa sighing. She seemed fed up with their shit.   
Jean nodded slowly in response. "I mean, yeah, it is," he said after a few seconds of silence. "But that's how it is. All I can do is go with the flow. They do keep this system in place for people like me."  
Jean and Eren stared at each other, neither of them blinking. They reminded Zeke of cats that were about to pounce.   
The two of them jumped up from their seats at the same time, leaning forward aggressively.   
"You son of a bitch!" shouted Eren, raising his fists.  
Jean huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "What the fuck do you want from me? Are you jealous because I'm better than you?"  
"Calm down, Eren," said Zeke, a pathetic attempt at de-escalating the situation. Eren ignored him, leaning closer to Jean instead.   
"Tell me," he said. "How are we supposed to fight the titans if the strongest people hide in the interior? It doesn't make any sense!"  
"Why are you asking me of all people?!" exclaimed Jean, throwing his hands into the air defensively. "I can't do anything about that stuff! I mean-"   
Something caught Jean's attention, causing him to halt in his movement. Zeke heard Mikasa sigh once again, her eyes downcast and her lips pulled down.  
Jean gritted his teeth together, grabbing Eren by his collar. "I've had enough with you, Jäger!"  
"Stop this shit," complained Eren. "My shirt is gonna rip."  
"Who cares about your clothes?!" yelled Jean. "I fucking envy you!"  
Eren grabbed Jean's wrists, squeezing harshly. "What are you talking about? Let go!"  
Eren didn't leave Jean any time to let him go. Instead, he flipped Jean to the ground in the same particular way Annie had defeated him earlier.   
Zeke had never seen her fighting style before. Perhaps it was unique to the place she'd grown up at? He couldn't think of any other plausible explanation.  
Jean got back to his feet with a loud groan. "Moron, what was that?"  
"A move I learned earlier today while you were skipping training," said Eren calmly. "You say life is so easy. How can you call yourself a soldier like that?"  
Jean stared at Eren, mouth agape, before he squinted his eyes together. "What did you-"  
A loud squeak announced Shadis entering the dining hall. His eyes were dark, and his lips pulled back grimly. Glaring around the room, he searched for the cause of the noise. Eren and Jean had already hurried to the seats closest to them, Eren sitting back down next to Armin and Jean plopping down on the empty chair next to Zeke.   
"Why was it so loud?" asked Shadis. "Anyone care to explain?"  
Mikasa slowly raised her hand, prompting Shadis to walk up to their table. "Sir," she said, "it was just Sasha letting out a huge fart."  
Zeke hid his grin by drinking a sip of water when he saw the look of utmost betrayal on Sasha's face, her eyes wide and mouth wide open.   
"You again?" said Shadis, his eyes squinted close and a hand covering his nose. "Learn some self-control, girl."  
For a few brief seconds, Shadis made eye-contact with Zeke. The blond man stared right back unblinkingly, face perfectly neutral.  
Then, Shadis left the room.  
Mikasa gave Sasha some of her food as an excuse. Her friend still looked shocked but seemed to accept the peace-offering.  
"That was close, Jean," said Eren, a bead of sweat running down the side of his face. "You almost lost your chance to join the MPs over a stupid fight like this."  
The blood drained from Jean's face, and his hands were shaky. "This isn't over yet, Jäger," he said quietly.  
Zeke had to think of his own training days - the frenemies, the shenanigans, the stupid fights. All of that had come to an end ten years ago. Now, he was a full-fledged soldier of the garrison with the duty to protect the walls.   
It dawned on him once again. Eren and Mikasa wouldn't stay kids forever. Their graduation wasn't long from now, and after that, seeing them would become even more difficult than it already was. Secretly, he still hoped Eren and Mikasa would decide to join the garrison like him - neither of them would ever join the MPs - but deep down, he knew that their decision was already set in stone. Mikasa and Eren were going to join the Scout Regiment. They would leave the protection of the walls behind to fight a lost battle.  
Zeke didn't see the point in leaving the walls. Eventually, everyone out there would die a horrible, unnecessary death without anyone gaining anything from it.  
The thought of Eren and Mikasa going out there tore Zeke apart from the inside. He'd already lost his parents. If something happened to Eren and Mikasa, there would be nothing left for him.  
Zeke knew, though, that he couldn't stop them. They were going to join the Survey Corps. Nothing he could say would change that.  
Zeke hated it.


	3. glory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is pretty much unedited bc im lazy and i wanted to post it lol. who wants to join an aot chapter 138 group therapy?

It was just like five years ago. The Colossal Titan had breached the district that Zeke and his siblings resided in. It had kicked an eight-meter high hole in the gate of Trost District, enabling titans to invade. Except that it was different today.   
This time around, Zeke was prepared. The ODM gear was heavy on his hips while he was standing in line with his squad in the courtyard, waiting for their orders. This time, Zeke could do more than just run - he would be able to act. He wouldn’t stand still while his family was in danger.  
Rico approached her team with haste, her eyebrows pulled together. “I’ve received orders from Commander Pixis,” she said, voice calm and steady. “We’ll be taking the rearguard and protecting the escaping civilians from titans that slipped through. Now come with me.”  
The short woman used her gear to pull herself on top of the next building and started approaching Wall Sina. Zeke followed her along with his teammates, the breeze blowing the hair out of his face.   
“What about the other positions?” he shouted over the wind. “Who’s taking them?”   
Zeke’s mind was on his siblings. He hoped desperately that the trainees wouldn’t have to engage in battle. Logically, though, he knew that Eren and Mikasa would have to fight today, and that meant that they would at best only lose some precious friends. The worst-case scenario was that something happens to either Mikasa and Eren or possibly both.   
A selfish part in Zeke wished that today’s events would at least draw them away from the Survey Corps. If they witnessed the gruesomeness of the titans in battle, perhaps they would never want to see them again.   
“The other garrison soldiers will take the vanguard and try to destroy as many invading titans as possible,” explained Rico, her light blue eyes glancing back at Zeke. “The trainees are taking the middle guard. They’ll kill titans that made their way to them and direct civilians to the escape routes.”  
They landed on the floor near the gate and Zeke’s body tensed. The trainees would have to face off with the titans, after all. His stomach turned at the thought.   
They were all only children.   
15-year-olds shouldn’t have to devote their lives like this. It was already bad enough that adults like him had to lie their life on the line like this, but these were kids, for fuck's sake.  
Looking around, Zeke found a few soldiers waiting for the order to close the inner gate of Wall Rose. They would have to stay open until the evacuation was completed.  
Zeke turned back around and a young soldier approaching them caught his eyes. Her face was downcast and hidden by her black hair.   
“Mika?” said Zeke, taking a step forward. “What are you doing here?”  
Mikasa halted a step away from Zeke, looking up to him. She glared at no one in particular, but Zeke knew that her emotion wasn’t directed at him.   
“I was assigned to the rearguard,” she answered, averting her gaze to look at Rico. The woman acknowledged her with a nod.  
One half of Zeke was happy to have Mikasa here - this way, he’d be able to keep an eye on at least one of his siblings. The other half was even more stressed out because now, there was no one watching out for Eren. These two usually looked out for each other but now they wouldn’t be able to do that.  
“We’ll make teams of two and take positions in the area to keep watch,” said Rico. “Make sure to be careful with your gas supplies. And... don’t die, that’s an order.”  
Zeke and Mikasa glanced at each other before taking off together, soaring through the city. The first people under them were hastily approaching the gates. The two stopped on a flat, brown roof and looked around. A huge cloud of smoke was disappearing behind Wall Rose - Zeke assumed that the Colossal Titan had left it behind.  
Mikasa stood perfectly still, the wind gently brushing through her hair. Her body was tense, the grip on her swords tight. She stared into the distance, eyes fixated on something Zeke couldn’t see.  
“Is everything alright with you?” asked Zeke, glancing at Mikasa out of the corner of his eyes.  
The girl briefly shook her head before shrugging and looking at Zeke. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “I guess I just have a bad feeling.”  
Zeke took a deep breath and looked down at his feet. “Let’s hope it’s nothing more than that.”  
Titans were already approaching. Not many, luckily. One of them was in Zeke and Mikasa’s proximity.  
Mikasa readied her gear, attempting to go in for the attack. There was no ounce of hesitation in her movement. Zeke held his arm in front of her chest to stop her.  
“I’m perfectly capable, Zeke,” said Mikasa, pulling her eyebrows together a little.  
“I know," he said. "Let me take this one. You can kill the next one.”  
Zeke took a deep breath before attaching the hooks of his gear to some nearby buildings and pulling himself into the air. The titan moved rather slowly and hadn’t noticed Zeke yet. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say the beast was malnourished, considering the ribs poking out under its arms. The titan’s dirty hair reached its thin shoulders, its light eyes were half-closed and seemed sleepy. A lazy smile stretched its lips.   
The titan’s eyes ripped open when it spotted Zeke. Instinctively, Zeke used some gas to push himself backward. Just in time - the hand missed him by just an arm’s length. Initially, Zeke had been surprised that such a slow-poke had slipped through. Considering its speed, though, Zeke wasn’t at all questioning his presence.   
That titan must have already eaten many soldiers. If none of them had stopped this titan, how could he do it? There was no way he would be able to take this thing down.  
“Zeke!”  
Mikasa’s cry yanked him back to reality. Zeke used some gas to leap to the side before resting against a wall. Perhaps a titan would eat him someday. But he wouldn’t allow this one to do so.  
Making eye contact with the titan was bone-chilling but Zeke didn’t look away. When he saw the twitch of its arm, he dropped down to the floor. The titan’s hand slammed into the building while he lunged forward underneath its body. The titan searched for Zeke in the rubble, confused, while Zeke used his gear to pull himself into the air again. Swiftly, he turned around and attached his hooks to the titan’s shoulders. Using one last push, he accelerated, flew up, and slashed its neck out. The titan fell to the ground and decomposed in a matter of seconds.  
With a sigh, Zeke got back on top of the roof next to Mikasa. The girl regarded him with a glare.  
“What was that?” she said. “You need to be more careful.”  
Zeke lifted an eyebrow. “To be fair, this is my first time fighting titans, as well. And I didn’t get eaten, so it seems I was careful enough.”  
Mikasa rolled her eyes and sighed.   
They got back to their job that consisted of slashing every titan that progressed this far. Each kill felt more and more natural to Zeke. He found himself growing less nervous about facing them.   
There were two odd things, though:  
Firstly, the evacuation seemed to be going excruciatingly slow.  
Secondly, more and more titans started appearing. The vanguard and middle guard shouldn’t let this many slip by.   
“Mikasa,” said Zeke, stopping the young soldier from entering the next battle. “Let’s meet the rest of the squad. Something is fishy here.”  
“Okay,” said Mikasa, nodding.  
Together, the two neared the gate again. A titan’s head peeked out between the roofs, quickly approaching the civilians that were trying to escape. Two of Zeke’s squad members were pursuing it, but they were too slow to catch up.  
“Shit,” shouted the man. “Stop ignoring us!”  
The woman wasn’t faring any better. “It’s one of these abnormals! So fucking fast. At this rate, it’ll reach the townsfolk before we can catch up!”  
Zeke grabbed Mikasa’s sleeve and harshly pulled her forward so she could gain some speed. Using the momentum and some additional gas, she managed to take down the titan just in time. It collapsed in front of the civilians while she stood atop of its head. She got to the floor and started talking, gesturing with her arms. What Zeke saw when he finally caught up to Mikasa nearly made his jaw drop.  
A big cart full of goods was blocking the only escape route those civilians had. About a hundred of them were still cramped in front of it, trying to reach safety. That trader prioritized his wares over human lives.  
“If you think it’s natural for people to die for other people,” said Mikasa, not noting Zeke’s appearance, “then you surely understand that one death can save many lives.”  
She approached the man, pushing through the crowd. They all looked at her with big eyes.  
“Just you try,” threatened the man. “I’m the boss of this town’s shopping district! I go way back with your employer. One word from me can seal your future!”  
Zeke recognized the man as Reeves. He did have some influence, but his threats were as empty as his heart. Mikasa seemed to be handling the situation just fine, so Zeke decided not to interfere.  
“How can a corpse talk?”  
Mikasa’s glare and dark, awaiting the man’s answer.   
When he gave the order to back up the cart, Zeke decided to join his squad member on the roof. Jens looked at him expectantly, eyes wide. His long light brown hair was tousled in the wind.  
“You know that girl. How so?”  
“You mean Mikasa?” said Zeke, watching her exchange with a young girl. “She lived with my family for a year before Wall Maria fell. I see her as a younger sister.”  
When Mikasa joined them on the roof, Jens decided to address her, too.  
“Nice kill, Ackerman,” said Jens. “You live up to your reputation.”  
Mikasa glanced down at the decomposing corpse of the titan. “Thank you, Sir, but in my haste, I blunted my blade with just one attack. I’ll be more thoughtful next time.”  
Jens looked at her in awe, before making eye contact with Zeke again.  
After some more short chats, Mikasa and Zeke got back to slaying titans. They proved to be quite the good team, having each other’s backs and killing titans with coordinated attacks.  
Zeke just hoped Eren was okay in the middle guard. Quite a few titans had slipped through by now - the amount was concerning. A lot of soldiers must have fallen. Zeke could only hope it was no one Eren and Mikasa were close with.  
A loud bell rang, announcing their retreat. The civilians should all be safe now. Before Zeke could stop her, Mikasa left in the opposite direction they were supposed to go. He was tempted - should he follow her? But in the end, he decided against it. Zeke still had to follow orders, and as long as Mikasa and Eren had each other, they would be fine.   
Together with the other present soldiers, Zeke retreated on top of the Wall where he met with his squad. Rico looked them all up and down, checking whether anyone was injured. Everyone seemed to be fine.  
“What happened to Ackerman?” she then asked, noticing her absence.  
“She’s helping the other soldiers retreat,” said Zeke, not specifying which soldiers he was referring to.  
Rico nodded briefly. 

Zeke still didn’t exactly understand what the fuck was going on. The only thing he truly knew was that a bunch of garrison soldiers had circled his siblings and Armin and were threatening to blow them up with cannons. Mikasa was standing in front of her friends, blades at the ready to defend. Eren appeared to be out of it.  
Rico had ordered Zeke to stay back, but he simply couldn’t do that. He needed to know what was happening.   
Eren suddenly rose, mumbling something Zeke couldn’t understand. His eyes seemed glassy at first but cleared up with each passing second.  
“Tell them everything you know!” shouted Armin. “I’m sure they’ll understand!”  
The garrison soldiers started mumbling amongst each other and Zeke grew increasingly more frustrated. He desperately wanted to know why these people were threatening his siblings and their friend.   
The more time progressed, the more Zeke got the feeling that no one was truly on top of the situation. Everyone seemed lost, confused, and scared.  
“Trainee Jäger, your present behavior constitutes treason against the human race!”  
The man in charge, one of Zeke’s superiors, was not particularly likable. Zeke recalled his name to be Kitz Weilman. He had always thought that he seemed to be a coward and didn't get why he was in a leading position.  
“Your lives depend on your answer to my question! I will not hesitate to blow you up if you attempt to deceive me. I’ll ask you plainly: What are you, a man or a titan?”  
“What the fuck are you going on about?” yelled Zeke. “Look at him. He’s a child! The hell, a titan?”  
“Control yourself, Jäger,” growled Rico. “You’re not supposed to be here in the first place.”  
The soldiers around Zeke snapped their heads around to stare at him.  
“Another Jäger?” said Kitz Weilman. “You better detain him, surely he’s a titan, as well.”  
A bunch of soldiers moved to grab Zeke, but his glare was enough to frighten them. They were scared that he’d actually turn out to be a titan in disguise.   
“Answer me now, Jäger!”  
“I don’t understand the question,” answered Eren.  
Zeke didn’t know how to act. He didn’t think there was something he could do to help.  
“Don’t play dumb,” shouted Weilman. “Everyone saw you crawling out of that titan’s carcass!”  
Zeke’s heart skipped a beat. What was that supposed to mean? Did Eren get eaten in one piece and cut himself out of the titan?  
“Wall Rose was breached by unknown titans. How do we know it wasn’t you?” yelled the superior. “If you are dangerous, I will blow you up immediately!”  
“They’re defiant,” said Rico, ignoring the death glare Zeke threw at her. “We won’t get any useful information out of them. They’re a waste of time and energy.”  
Mikasa stepped forward, drawing her swords.  
“My specialty is slicing meat,” said she slowly, twisting her blades. “Is there anyone who would like to experience it first-hand? Please, don’t be shy."  
”That’s Mikasa Ackerman,” said Jens. “She was with our elite unit in the rear. Her strength is valuable for the human race."   
“Let’s just talk, please,” said Armin loudly, a shake in his voice. The boy’s eyes were widened in fear.   
When Weilman was about to give the signal to strike, the kids panicked. Mikasa tried to get them over the wall, while Armin still attempted to argue.  
Shutting his eyes tightly, Zeke covered his ears at the loud blow.   
Mikasa, Eren, and Armin had been blown up. And he did absolutely nothing to prevent it. They died and Zeke might have been able to stop them if he’d just tried. But he’d been a coward, watching from the sidelines once again. What was he supposed to do now?  
A few gasps made Zeke look up. His eyes widened in shock at the sight. There was a skinless half-built titan torso shielding Armin and Mikasa. Both of them were just fine. But where had Eren gone?  
“Zeke, keep your sorry ass here!” yelled Rico.  
Zeke hadn’t even noticed that he’d begun running up to Mikasa and Armin. Ignoring Rico calling out to him, he ducked and got under the titan’s torso. Then, he dropped to his knees in front of the two children. Armin was clutching his head, tears pooling in his eyes and looking up. Mikasa made eye contact with Zeke.  
A scream sounded from above them, making their heads snap skywards.  
“What the fuck, it’s so hot?!”  
Zeke could recognize that voice everywhere. “Eren!”  
“We’re,” said Armin, voice shaky, “inside of a titan?”  
Mikasa turned her head to look at Armin, putting a hand on his arm.   
“Eren protected us,” she said. “That’s all that matters for now.”  
The sound of footsteps made Zeke turn his head, and he discovered Eren running up to him. His green eyes were widened and he was breathing through his mouth.  
“Zeke, what are you doing here?” he asked. “Are you guys okay?”  
Mikasa firmly nodded her head.  
“What’s-” said Armin, but Eren interrupted him.  
“I have no clue. We need to get away from this thing, though, it’s gonna vaporize!”  
Eren turned, still looking at them over his shoulder. “I’m not sure what the soldiers are waiting for, but they can’t see us right now,” he said. “They’ll attack again soon, that much is clear. And I’m not so sure if we can talk our way out of this now. I remember something though.”  
Eren reached inside his shirt, pulling out the key Grisha previously possessed. Zeke thought back to the day he encountered Keith Shadis.  
“The basement room,” continued Eren. “Dad said it would explain everything. He’s also the reason I’m like this.”  
Surely, Eren must be right. Grisha had indeed told Eren that he would show him the basement once he returned from this trip. Then the titans attacked and they never saw him again.  
“Why would he hide information like that, though?” said Zeke, pulling his eyebrows together.   
Eren nodded slowly, touching a palm to his forehead. “Isn’t the information humanity’s last hope? And dad kept it hidden all this time… why?! Why did he leave us?”  
“Eren,” said Mikasa firmly, grabbing him by the arm. “Focus, this is not the time.”  
Zeke’s face grew hotter with every second, sweat running down his neck. Looking at the others, he noticed that they weren’t faring any better. The heat of the titan was getting worse.  
“I’ll run away,” said Eren. “I’ll turn into a titan again, climb over the wall and find the basement again.” He brought his hand close to his mouth as if he was about to bite it.  
“Can you do that?!” asked Armin frantically. “You look worn down…”  
Eren sighed. “I’m not sure how it works, but I think I’ll manage,” he said. “Earlier, I just thought that I wanted to protect you guys and it just kind of… happened. It’s like moving your arms.”  
“That’s probably why the titan crumbled and had no actual body,” said Zeke. “It fulfilled its purpose.”  
Eren’s breath grew more ragged with each passing second and the sweat running down his forehead seemed to be from more than just the heat. The hand close to his mouth shook.  
A red trail of blood flowed out of his nostril, nearly reaching his lips.  
“Your nose is bleeding,” said Mikasa, bringing up her fingers close to his nose before pulling back again. In Zeke’s eyes, the boy looked frail and exhausted.  
“You’re pale and worn out,” said Armin slowly. “That thing seems to screw up your body…”  
Zeke grabbed Eren’s shoulder. “I’m not allowing another transformation. You’re still okay now, but who knows what’ll happen if you don’t let your body have a break?”  
“I don’t give a damn if I’m in a bad shape,” said Eren, wiping the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. “Listen, I have two ideas. Don’t cover for me, this way they won’t kill you. I’ll go alone from here on, I’ve caused enough trouble.”  
“I won’t let you go into titan territory all on your own,” said Zeke, his voice getting louder with each word. “We’re not doing this, Eren.”  
“I’m coming with you, Eren,” said Mikasa, making the boy shake his head furiously. “You can’t tell me what to do. Don’t worry about me if I can’t keep up… I can protect myself.”  
Zeke didn’t pay attention, instead choosing to focus on Armin’s distressed state. His eyes were wide and dry, trained on the floor. His whole body was tense.  
Zeke looked back to Eren and Mikasa, who were still glaring at each other.  
“Eren,” said Zeke. “You were talking about two ideas… what’s the second one?”  
“I do realize that my plan is unrealistic,” said Eren. “So I want Armin to decide what to do. My powers would be the most useful if we could use them alongside the army. Armin, if you think you can convince the garrison that I’m no threat, I’ll believe you and stay. If not, I’ll pull through with the other option. Now, can you or can you not?”  
“Eren,” said Armin. “Why are you entrusting me with this decision and not Zeke?”  
Zeke, on the other hand, wasn’t so surprised. Armin had always been an intelligent kid and during the last few years, Eren learned a lot about his abilities. While Zeke was smart, as well, Eren didn’t know anything at all about his strategic skills.  
“You always know what to do when things get messed up,” said Eren. “I want to rely on that.”  
“Armin, if you have an idea, I have faith in you,” added Mikasa, seemingly washing away Armin’s doubts.  
Armin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, the determination was evident in his features.  
“I’ll convince them! You three just do your best to show that you won’t resist,” he shouted, standing up and hurrying forward. With slow and steady steps, Armin approached the garrison soldiers, hands lifted defensively.  
Weilman grew visibly distressed. “You! Stay right there!”  
Armin halted in his tracks, stood still, and saluted. “Eren isn’t an enemy of the Human Race,” he yelled. “We wish to disclose all of the knowledge we acquired about the titans!”  
Weilman pulled his eyebrows together and lifted his chin. Pearls of sweat were running down his face. “It’s meaningless to beg for your lives, he revealed his true form! Nothing is left to say. If you claim he’s not a titan, prove it or I will eliminate the threat!”  
Armin’s fist left his chest and he started to gesticulate wildly while he talked.  
“I don’t need to prove it because how we see him isn’t the issue,” argued Armin, voice loud and strong. “Everyone saw him fighting the titans, which means they also saw the titans ganging up on him. In other words, the titans considered him to be prey, just like us! No matter how long we discuss this, that truth still stands!”  
Zeke watched tensely as the crowd started mumbling about Armin’s word. They must see the reason behind it, the truth in it. He noticed more soldiers standing on the roofs around them, watching the scene. Judging from their emblems, they must be Eren, Mikasa, and Armin’s friends.  
Weilman lifted his arm again, his face pale. “Don’t fall into his trap! Prepare a counterattack!”  
Zeke cursed under his breath, thinking hard on what to do.   
“We’ve never understood the titans,” continued Weilman. “If they truly can turn into humans, we cannot allow them to continue any longer!”  
Zeke took a step forward, but something about Armin’s eyes when he glanced back at them made him stop. Maybe he could still turn this around.  
Armin stood tall, saluting once again. “As a soldier, I vowed to dedicate my heart to the human race! If my life ends while keeping that vow, I have no complaints,” he yelled. “But if we combine his titan powers with the military force, we might be able to retake this town. For the glory of the human race, I beg you in the moments I have left before I die! Let me explain the strategic value of Eren Jäger’s titan abilities!”  
Weilman did not falter, making Zeke curse under his breath. “Kitz,” he screamed, “just because you’re pissing your pants in fear doesn’t mean you should turn off your brain!”  
Dot Pixis grabbed Weilman’s arm just as he was about to give the signal to shoot.   
“Stand down,” he ordered. “For a man your size, you’re as delicate as a fawn. Can’t you see how magnificent that boy’s salute is?”  
A stone fell from Zeke’s heart, relief washing through him in waves. Pixis wouldn’t shoot them down, he’d listen to reason.  
Weilman looked at his commander, eyes wide and mouth open. “Commander Pixis!”  
“I just arrived,” said Pixis, letting go of Weilman’s arm when he’d dropped it at his side. “The situation was relayed to me by a rider. As of this moment, I’m putting you in command of the reinforcements.”  
Pixis regarded the four of them curiously, making eye contact with one after the other.  
“I have a feeling it would be worth our while to listen to what these soldiers have to say.”


End file.
